Inside: Discover the benefits of screen-free parenting, how we transitioned, and the positive changes we saw in our kids’ behavior.
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Introduction: Our Family’s Screen-Free Journey
Is screen time stealing your family’s connection? I’ve been there. As a stay-at-home mom, I know firsthand how easy it is to feel overstimulated. I love my role as a full-time homemaker, but let’s be real — it’s also the hardest job I’ve ever had. That says a lot, because I’ve had some doozies!
With the chaos of kids, pets, and daily responsibilities, the constant noise from a toddler show in the background can push you right over the edge. The preteen? He just hid in his room all the time, reluctant to spend time with the family or lend a helping hand.
Before this, I thrived as a businesswoman. I was a Software Manager, solving problems and creating systems. So why was I struggling at home with kids I literally birthed myself? The answer became clear: technology. The screens were taking over!
Why we decided to ditch screens and embrace intentional living
In today’s world, technology is being pushed on you everywhere—especially when it comes to parenting. Toddler throwing a tantrum? Let’s hand them our phone or iPad. Want them to learn their ABC’s? I hear Ms Rachel really gets kids engaged! Can’t get them to fall asleep on their own? Let’s put the TV on. I’ve been guilty of this in the past too, no shaming from me mama!
But I started to wonder: What would happen if we didn’t have to rely on screens so much?
I thought back to my own childhood—building forts, playing outside, and getting lost in creative play. We also spent more time with our friends in person, building real relationships and connections.
Could removing screens help my kids sleep better and reduce their meltdowns? Would they have a better appreciation for nature and family time? Are screens really that good for them?
That’s when I dove into the research, determined to improve my family’s well-being.
Curious about going screen-free? Keep reading for the research and our personal journey.
The Research That Opened Our Eyes
We have quite the age gap in our home, our oldest is about to be 13, then we have a 2 year old and a brand new baby scheduled to make her appearance in just 10 short days.
My son, Isaiah, spent 8 years of his life with me as a single mom. This means I had to do whatever was necessary to get by.
Isaiah spent a lot of time with my sister and her family, but he also spent time in daycare once he was old enough to talk and tell me how his day was. My sister was a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids of her own at the time, they led a primarily screen-free lifestyle. She used to press the dangers of screen time, I remember thinking she was crazy.
I didn’t have time to sit and do research on the negative impacts of excessive screen time. Now I do.
Shocking studies on screen time and child development
As Isaiah got older, he dealt with a lot of struggles at home and in school. He was diagnosed with ADHD, level 1 ASD and a sensory processing disorder. All of these things have now been linked to excessive screen time in early childhood.
Knowing this, we didn’t want the same for the next round of kids. We also desperately wanted to try and find better ways to help Isaiah navigate life successfully with these struggles. So we dug deep into the research.
Through the American Academy of Pediatrics, I found the suggested amount of screen time per age. Check out the results in the image below:
Did you know that by age 3 a child’s brain is 80% developed? These first 3 years are critical for lifelong health, learning and success. During the first 3 years, these are the big milestones according to the state of Michigan:
- Social & emotional development
- Language & communications development
- Cognitive development (learning, thinking, problem solving)
- Movement & physical development
So how does screen-time affect these milestones?
How excessive screen use affects development
Excessive screen time has been linked to short- and long-term developmental problems and delays for children ages 0-5 in regard to social skills, emotional regulation, language and communication, problem-solving and cognitive abilities and fine motor skills. The image shown below goes a little more in depth on each of these developmental problems and delays.
The effects are not limited to these issues alone. Studies have also linked other critical, potentially long term, impacts such as:
- Sleep problems
- Attention and focus
- Physical activity
- Poor eating habits
- Obesity
- Reading and learning
- Eye strain and vision problems
Physical Evidence of Brain Damage Due to Screen-Time
The most eye opening research I have seen, is the physical evidence of brain damage and developmental delays regarding excessive screen-time on brain scans.
There is an article on Boston Children’s Hospital website, called Babies and screen time: New research calls for caution, which describes a screen time study where 400 pregnant mothers in Singapore were enrolled and had their kids followed from infancy all the way to 9 years of age. Over time they did brain scans to see how the different amounts of screen exposure were affecting the children. By the time the kids reached the age of 9, they went through extensive testing and found lasting negative effects as far as difficulties with attention and executive functioning.
I highly recommend you do a little research on your own and take a look at the Boston Children’s Hospital article. You will find pure physical evidence on the brain scans. There are so many other available studies that show physical evidence as well.
How We Transitioned to a Screen-Free Home
Before implementing a screen-free environment. There was more research that needed to be done, we needed to find the best way to make this transition, as well as the best alternatives in order to reduce the amount of stress it would cause.
Setting boundaries and creating engaging alternatives
First, we set up some rules. When trying to implement something new, setting boundaries is key. But how do you set boundaries for the different age groups in your home? On one hand, we had a toddler who didn’t seem to eat as well if he didn’t have a show or movie to watch. On the other hand, we had a preteen who would come home and just lock himself in his room to watch tv, text with his friends and play video games.
Our main goal here was to not only reduce screen time, but to also be more intentional and spend more quality time as a family. So with this in mind, we created rules and boundaries that involve more intentional time with our kids without screens in their daily routines. We also created Friday Family Movie Night as a reward. This gives us one night a week we can all look forward to and take turns picking the movie. This time has been so beneficial for mom and dad too!
Operation Screen-Free Toddler
Rule: No screen time, unless it’s used as a tool or it’s Friday Family Movie Night.
Sure, the suggested amount of screen time for a 2 year old is 1 hour, but I didn’t want to incorporate it into his daily routine or schedule at all. I would much rather use that hour as a tool when I need it. Without having normal access to screens, kids will be more likely to focus solely on it.
Screen Time as a Tool
Here are a few examples of how I use screen time as a tool:
- When I am overwhelmed and I need a break, I can put on a 30 minute show like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood or Tumble Leaf.
- When I have a doctor’s appointment and need to be able to listen to my doctor. I use a ziploc bag for my phone, put two holes in it with a hole punch and string it up on our wagon stroller with a movie or show.
- When my child is under the weather, I need him to lay still and let his body rest.
Screen Time Alternatives
I highly recommend you check out my article My 2 Year Old’s Daily Routine that goes into detail of our complete daily schedule without screen time. I also have an article called 5 Screen-Free Activities for Toddlers. In the meantime, here are some bullet points of how we swapped typical screen time out throughout a normal day:
Morning
- Morning: Instead of opening the day with TV, we open our day with Morning Baskets (article coming soon). Morning Baskets are filled with a few intentional books, some type of artistic creative activity, 2-3 open ended activities like blocks, puzzles or busy boards.
- Mid Morning: Homeschool preschool program, taking this time to go outside if the weather is nice. Head out on a field trip to somewhere fun, or run a few errands if need be.
Afternoon
- Lunch: We throw on some music to stimulate brain activity and dance our energy out as we eat. We used to have to watch TV in order to get our toddler to sit still at the table and finish his food, now we sing together and dance!
- Naptime: Instead of having a tablet or tv, we utilize our google home mini and spotify to play a short meditation for kids and then we put on a storyteller. A storyteller is an audio version of many kids commonly known movies, like Toy Story or Frozen. Stay tuned for a full article on our Naptime and Bedtime Routines!
- Afternoon: Going on an afternoon stroll, spending time outside if the weather is nice. Sensory bins! Sensory bins are the perfect activities to wake up to. Sensory bins are so good for kids development, but they can also fully engage toddlers for an hour or two. Example of a sensory bin can be seen in an image below, full article with my favorite themed bins coming soon!
Evening
- Dinner: We always have dinner together as a family. We have really enjoyed turning on a great playlist for everyone to enjoy as we talk about our days. The tunes are less toddler and more old school like Rolling Stones, Beatles, Electric Light Orchestra, etc.
- Bedtime: Same as naptime! We use a little meditation and listen to audio stories.
Here are a few of my favorite open-ended screen-free activities:
Bonus
Another great read is my article on My Favorite Living Books. Without screen time, kids are more likely to be more engaged in storytime, you just have to make sure you are choosing the right types of books to stimulate their minds and keep them engaged!
Operation Reduced Screen Time for the Older Kids
Rule: Screen time is a privilege and not a right. Screen time must be earned through a rewards system. Friday Family Movie Night is free.
Creating a rewards system in which the compensation is screen time minutes instead of money has been such a game changer. It kills so many birds with one stone!
This topic is a future article I am most excited about. I may even make it a digital download you can edit and customize to fit your families needs. Since we are here, I will go ahead and give you an exciting inside look as to what this system consists of.
Screen Time Rewards System
- Laid out like a job in the real world, complete with an “Employee Handbook” which covers the policies and procedures of our family, including our “Progressive Discipline Plan” for when rules are not followed. There is also a “Job Description” that details their official role in this family, what they are responsible for, what type of characteristics are needed to be successful in this position and how benefits and compensation is paid.
- Contracts for screen time use must be signed. We have a contract for cell phone use, video games, and for tv time. Each contract covers the rules and regulations, such as no internet browser, no social media, no youtube, etc.
- Daily checklist that covers morning, afternoon and evening duties. Each duty is a line item with how much screen time is awarded upon completion and has a spot for the child to initial once complete, as well as a spot for the parent. The bottom section has a signature line, date line, rewards total and supervisor sign off line.
- Rewards tokens (laminated squares with minutes) are paid out at the end of each day, but only if the child brings the completed daily checklist to be reviewed and signed off on before “clocking out.”
Benefits of the Screen Time Rewards System
This system really teaches kids the power of responsibility and prepares them for their first real job. We stand by the statement “Work hard, play hard,” and this system embodies it.
Before screen time is used, they must pay in advance and a timer must be set. All technology can only be used in the living room, there is no tv or technology allowed behind closed doors or in bedrooms.
As far as an allowance, members of our family are given the benefit of us providing a roof over their head, meals on the table, routine clothing necessities and payment for extracurricular activities and any necessary gear. Any type of materialistic desire, such as name brand clothes, shoes, etc. must be paid for by the family member themselves. There are plenty of ways for kids to become little entrepreneurs and do odd jobs for us, the neighbors or family members when they would like to earn some cash.
The Positive Changes We Saw in Our Kids
When we implemented our new rules and boundaries, we saw so many positive changes. We’ve grown much closer as a family and our kids are truly thriving in so many aspects.
Improved creativity, focus, and family bonding
Toddler
Prior to implementing this new lifestyle, my toddler was glued to my hip and completely attached. He was never able to play on his own, he always needed mommy right by his side for every single little thing. Now, we spend a good bit of quality time playing and exploring together, but he often breaks away on his own to engage in open ended activities like playing with blocks, doing puzzles, getting elbow deep in a sensory bin or just simply exploring the outside world in our fenced in yard for hours at a time.
When talking to him, he is so much more attentive and focused. He has always been great with his language and communication, but I am completely amazed at how much more it has improved.
Preteen
Our relationship has truly blossomed during this experience. He’s no longer tucked away in his room, he is out in the open engaging with us every single day. A part of his daily duties is to do homework or 20 minutes of learning. He’s not really into the books, so he has taken an interest in cooking with me. He has learned how to make just about all of our typical family meals to a point where he can completely do them on his own without any input from either of us, start to finish. This will be such a great skill for him when he is one day able to fly the coop, and even better for his future wife and family.
He’s also really taken an interest in the word “entrepreneur” and asks me to sit with him and watch educational videos of kids his age who have started their own businesses. He will take notes and then come to me to bounce ideas off of.
My Favorite Kitchen Supplies
- Safety Anti Cutting Gloves for Meat Cutting, Wood Carving, Mandolin Slicing and More
- Veggie Chopper, Egg Slicer, Spiralizer, Dicer, Cutter, Food Chopper
- Meat Shredder Tool Twist with Anti-Slip
- Lodge Pre-Seasoned Cast Iron Skillet Set
- Pyrex Essentials (3-Pack) Glass Measuring Cups Set
Emotional growth and better sleep patterns
Toddler
One of the biggest changes since removing screens from our daily routines is how the tantrums have become almost non-existent. He has moments here and there, but not all throughout the day anymore. He can even go full days without having a tantrum now! Emotional regulation has greatly improved. He is more able to stay calm and politely communicate his needs. He is also more focused when it comes to listening and following directions when needed.
As far as sleeping, the amount of time it takes to get him to fall asleep has gone from an hour or more to only 5 minutes. His mornings are full of physical movement and more intentional use of his brain through sensory play and stimulation. He’s fulfilled all of his needs, therefore, he is able to get a good restful sleep and wake up in such a sweet and loving mood, ready for whatever is next.
Preteen
A part of his diagnosis, he normally has a really hard time regulating his emotions, staying focused and being able to turn his brain off in order to get restful sleep. His communication skills need a little extra love and care. This usually makes it hard for him to open up to us because naturally he just feels so misunderstood.
With the reduction of screen time, making him earn the time instead through physical work, he feels more proud of himself and it boosts his confidence in the right ways. It pushes him towards creative learning, and finding alternative ways to keep himself busy that he wasn’t previously aware of. It’s been very therapeutic for him.
We used to not be able to pull anything out of him when he was upset, now he is openly communicating with us in a safe environment where we allow him to express his emotions and discuss his needs and how he sees the world.
He is no longer able to sneak the tv, phone or games at night because they have all been removed from his bedroom. So now he listens to comedic podcasts on his google home to help him fall asleep. He’s able to fall asleep faster and doesn’t have an issue waking up and jumping into his morning routine anymore.
Tips for Parents Ready to Go Screen-Free
Practical steps to reduce screen time
- Do your research.
- Figure out what rules and boundaries would work best for your family.
- Come up with a plan and how you are going to introduce it.
- Prepare yourself for the trials and errors along the way.
- Communicate with other caregivers what you are doing and ask for their assistance and cooperation when you are not with them.
- Be patient as the transition may not be smooth at first.
Fun, educational activities to keep kids engaged
- The power of music. Music stimulates the brain and supports overall brain development, it also creates a very rich sensory experience. Who doesn’t love jamming out to music to boost their mood? Try and regularly incorporate it throughout the day and see what happens!
- Field trips. Do some research of your area and figure out the best places to visit with kids. As a bonus, you can also filter that search and look for free activities and places to visit with your kids like nature centers, museums, parks, local events, etc.
- Spend more time outside in nature exploring with them.
- Look into open ended toys, like the ones I discuss in my article 5 Screen-Free Activities for Toddlers.
- Head to the library and grab some living books like I have listed in my article My Favorite Living Books.
Are you ready to embrace screen-free parenting and create a more connected, intentional home? We’d love to hear your experiences and tips! Leave a comment below or share this post with other parents looking to reduce screen time. For more inspiration on gentle parenting, healthy living, and homemaking tips, explore other posts on Landers Homestead.
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